【自翻】reddit上浴中沉思版的小段子，希望能帮忙捉虫！！！感谢！
1
106k
Tinder is the opposite of porn site advertisements. There actually are a ton of hot singles in my area, but none of them are interested in me.
kidkolumbo 於 5 月前 發表
陌陌就是黄色小广告的反义词啊。我的区域里有好多性感又单身的人，但谁都对我不感兴趣。
2
105k
My parents used to say there would be people offering drugs to me for free until I got addicted to them and then would charge exorbitant prices for it. Looking at the games in the app stores nowadays, I think those drug dealers all turned into game developers.
pinkinthecenter 於 10 天前 * 發表
我的父母常常告诫我，有人会免费给我药嗑，等我上瘾了，这些人就会把药开成天价。现在看看那些商城里的游戏app，我觉得那些药贩子都转行当游戏开发商了。
3
99.1k
I'm not a millennial, but if I was I'd be damn tired of another article every other day with a new theory about who millennials are and what they want.
shakeythirsty 於 4 月前 發表
这里的millennial怎么翻译啊！
我不是一个00后，但如果我是的话，每隔几天就看到有文章提出一个新理论阐述00后是什么样的人，他们想要啥，一定会让我烦到爆炸。
4
97.2k
When medication says "do not operate heavy machinery" they're probably mainly referring to cars, but my mind always goes to forklift.
megadumbbonehead 於 8 月前 發表
当药嘱上说：“不要操作重型机械”时，他们大概多指的是不能开车，但是我的脑洞总会跑偏到铲车上去。
5
96.8k
It must suck to be an air conditioner repairman. You spend your day working in buildings that have no air conditioning. When it's fixed and finally cool, you leave.
SoDakMax 於 29 天前 發表
当一个空调修理工一定糟透了。你要花一整天时间在一个没有冷气的地方工作。当它好不容易被修好，凉快下来的时候，你又要离开了。
6
94.2k
I wish you could just record silence and then play it on loudspeakers on full blast to make the whole room quiet.
actually_crazy_irl 於 3 月前 發表
我希望能把寂静录下来，然后用扩音器以最大音量放出来，这样就能使整个房间都安静下来了。
7
88.7k
If I had a son or daughter come out and tell me they're gay, I'd only respond with "I know". This way, if it's a prank, they just got pranked back. If they're serious, I look like an understanding parent. Win-win.
jpolic01212 於 22 天前 * 發表
如果我有一个儿子或女儿出柜了然后告诉我他是同性恋，我会简单地回一句“我知道”。这样，如果这是个恶作剧，他们就反被我恶作剧了。如果他们是认真的，我看起来就是个善解人意的好家长。双赢的。
8
86.1k
At some point I worry that self driving cars will go a route just to ensure you see certain stores or billboards, the real world equivalent of a pop up ad
jerimiahf 於 2 月前 發表
有时候我会担心自驾车会为了让你会看到特定的商店或广告牌而特意绕路，现实世界此时等同于一个弹窗广告。
9
80.6k
There shouldn't be a stigma about going to the movies alone. The activity where you can't talk to someone should be the one you can do alone.
zachwilly 於 4 月前 發表
单独去看电影一点都不算耻辱。那种不能和别人交谈的地方就应该一个人去。
10
79.5k
Dogs are like having children on easy mode. They will eat literally anything, shit outside, and won't ever go to college. And they think you're the greatest thing in the world just because you are there
___atomlib___ 於 1 月前 發表
养狗狗就像是养小孩的简单模式。他们几乎啥都吃，在外面便便，而且永远不会上大学。他们觉得你是世界上最伟大的，仅仅因为你就存在于那而已。
11
78.2k
Scotch aged 12 years sounds a lot better than Scotch from 2005.
bizzcut 於 3 月前 發表
有12个年头的威士忌听起来比2005年的威士忌好多了。
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